i don’t know how i managed to fuck up so much but i did and its my fault im like this. i spent forever trying to get rid of the real me because i drove myself insane, is that normal? to make yourself mental, emotionally stable, to fuck up your thoughts so much that all you can think about is how the blood flows from your own body. i dont know why everyone hates me so fucking much and its forever confused me but i finally understands, because i hate myself more than anything now. as a little girl, i was terrified of monsters, demons…but now im not, because they’re inside of me, they’re in my head, they control me and i guuess in away that comforts me…its comforting that someone is here with me, how fucked up is that. i just shouldn’t be here, there is nothing for me anymore and the sooner i get the courage to stop all this, the better.